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[ Saturday July 200811:40am ] |
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I'm back at my dads house right now, but I'm not sure where he even is. Probably working out at the thunderbolt gym. I needed a slight break from GR, work has been exhausting me, as well as people. It'd be beneficial if i could gain some sort of clarity from this visit.
I've been racking my brain over all the faults i'm sure i possess. I keep running over failed relationships in my head, only to make me disenchanted. I can't say i'm through, but i really can't see myself getting attached for a long time. It's funny how one day I'm all for gaining that weird traditional type of romance, then the next i'd rather have nothing to do with it.
Last night was hilarious, we had Eric prank call Chris, but it turned into something serious, and Eric was threatening to "beat their asses" or something like that. Later on in the night we came back to my dads.. Eric ended up disappearing. Corbin and I searched the streets of Whitehall until we got back to Clay's, but had no luck. Then Clay and Alex decided to help search for him on the way back to my dads, but still no luck. Then Clayton peered beyond Eric's truck, and who's passed out in the driveway? None other than the man himself. He sure did give us a scare.
The night was good though. Trip to the beach, where a whole area was blocked off because of QUICKSAND! Of all things. Alex tried walking in the area, but instantly some tool blew a horn thing. We climbed the dunes, and fucked off until we got bored. Later on in the night we went to mouth cemetery like old days, and Eric was scared.
It was a good night. I'm going outside.
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| Oh Canada. |
[ Friday May 20089:36am ] |
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FUCK
Lesson learned: - Don't put two utility bills in my name ever again. - Don't trust friends who rarely talk to me
I think this is all just a cop-out, because anyone in there right mind would understand that regardless of whether or not i cleaned "enough" of the last four people in the barth houses SHIT, it's still not connected to the fact that the bills still need to get payed, and i shouldn't have to pay them all. THANKS A LOT FRIENDS.
I'm aware how lame it is to run to the internet to vent about shit, but i'm feeling saucy.
I've let money dictate my emotions for far too long now, it was so refreshing being out of debt, and there's no way i want to go backwards. Unfortunately this seems unavoidable. It's upsetting that things end this way, but i guess i should of known, considering there was no strong attachments to anyone because those connections were already made, thus keeping the lines distant. I never want to be in a relationship where all we do is spend time in our room. I never want to live in smelly house with animals that are sitting in there own shit.
So with the arrival of bad feelings comes the end of things that are super important to me.
ON A GOOD NOTE!
SHOW!!! MONDAY MAY 5th: AURYN (PITTSBURGH exmemberswitchhuntandcrucialunitiguess) PREGNANT NUNS (BENKYLEMATT!<3) SHATTERED BADGE (first show... eek!)
It's early, I'm at the library, I have to work 11-2 soon, then be a host for the last day. Tomorrow = Qdoba and good friends. The "Cabin" is great, the view is perfect, and it's staying clean:).
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[ Monday March 20087:32pm ] |
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mood |
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silly |
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music |
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U2 fuck. |
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It's been awhile, and it kinda seems pointless.
So now that spring has arrived, there's more incentive to clean up my act a bit, and start focusing, but I say that all the time, and nothing really changes. Which in turn makes me feel like a huge fucking disappointment
Mattie might be getting a job here at jimmy johns, which would be funny, because then all of attention span will be working here. and i'm saying "here' because that's where i am.duh.
this week has a lot of good things in store, wednesday practice with the new dudes. thursday jesus crisis practice, hopefully, unless someone is busy, like usual. :(. friday i have no idea. saturday recording! sunday that show with baby guts.
the week after that, i'm moving! the barth house is disgusting right now, and we all know it. I dont think anyone cares to clean it up since it's our last month. although i can honestly say, that the only mess in there that is from me is the one in my room. aw yeah! pretty sure wilbur is the main contributor. Either way, i can't wait to move. I'll miss barth.. a lot.. but it's bittersweet. i'm excited to have mad sweet organization, and a super clean house all the time. haha. and to have the best view in GR.
Fuck, i hate U2.
I met a real nice boy. but he lives in belgium. so heh. maybe i'll go there someday. I need to go to Europe anyway. as long as it doesnt turn out like the massachusetts trip.. where the train trip was the coolest part.
7:47, ayeee! time to work. (or not)
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[ Monday February 20087:11pm ] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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the stooges |
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oh geeze, GR. people need to stop bein sick. i've been really happy lately, but also really down. going back home was a relief. the food i ate yesterday was really good, but i'm suffering today.
i'm looking forward to saturday. yeah fruitport library! we're playing right at 6 if you want to see us. RIGHT at 6.
i'm not a loser.
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| lowell boston whatever |
[ Monday January 20089:07pm ] |
getting a little too overboard with the alcohol. but i guess its to be expected when i have nothing better to do. i hope not to continue down this path when i get back to michigan.
i leave in basically three days. there's a party the night i get home, not for me, but we can pretend it is.
when i get back to work, i start managing, hopefully i get more training otherwise jimmy johns is fucked.
i definitely miss my friends, family, whatever. but i dont even see my family much anyway. friends.. well i may not take full advantage, but i'm a cold person, and always will be.
main highlight of this trip: seein posi force, sick fix, coke bust, and shit. except i'm always drunk and dumb. worry about me.
once i get back to familiar faces, and jesus crisis, i'll be cool. i wont need any of this. i shouldnt anyway.
oh but i love being fucked up.
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[ Monday October 20079:35pm ] |
what can you expect when you live with 7 different people? or is it 8?
fuck big rapids. fuck ferris state.
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[ Wednesday October 20072:29pm ] |
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Oh so many changes.
Breaking up is never fun, but Trent and I are friends, so all is well, it's just weird.
I really don't have enough energy to deal with unreliable people. If you say you'll do something, do it, and if not, let me know. Fuck. I hate being disenchanted.
Fell asleep early last night here at the auburn house, but woke up at like 5:30 am and walked back home. Nice quiet walk.
...and today i will go to work, come back, do something, and tomorrow i go to work, come back and go see halloween, hopefully. Even though I heard the movie isn't so good. I wouldn't really expect to be, i just want to get scared.
I love October.
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[ Tuesday August 200712:50am ] |
i made a myspace again, WHOOPS.
this past weekend was really cool, i like ann arbor a lot.
i'm warm. the rain needs to stop, i like the temperature though:).
i have nothing else to say.
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| Oh |
[ Wednesday July 200712:37pm ] |
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I deleted my myspace today. So if people want to see what i'm doing, i'm not posting in this regularly either, so I guess you'll just have to call me or something.
I have to go put up flyers for trent since he had to go home, then I should ride back home and eat some lunch before I go to work and waste time. I wish I could go to the show, but alas wednesdays are taken and it's a little too late in the game to try and get it off. Ah well.
Um, last weekend was cool. Perception of a global threat partially ruined. Still enjoyed the show x10. Not sure if I'm buying into the free shows too keep skelletones alive stuff, but won't be there anyway really.
Excited for this weekend, i've never been to michigan meltdown before because I lived away from everything.
Want to go swimming, desperately need bathing suit bottoms since they're in Josh's car because they fell out of my bag. Won't see Josh in Fruitport Sunday because the HIV kids don't go to shows hardly. Alex should be back from Portland by the 25th... or 27th.
Going to T.C. with my mom soon, we're staying on the beach, for two nights, I can't wait to spend time with her.
I only have around 5 minutes left on this computer. I should probably get to downtown.
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[ Tuesday June 20074:01pm ] |
I'm at the library, i walked here alone, i dont feel like walking back so i think i'm going to catch the bus. It's really nice and breezy outside.
My mom tried calling, hopefully she has a little kennel so i can put cute little wilbur in there when i have to work. I get him in two weeks or so, i'm looking forward to this.. I ALREADY LOVE HIM. He's a great dane border collie mix, apparantly. So he may end up being huge, I hope.
I need to enroll in a class so I can get my meap money back, but i'm not really sure what to do.
I need to get down to the beach. It's been so hot, I wish I lived closer to Lake Michigan, thats one of the only faults to living here :(.
Anyway, I'm going to continue to look at pictures of great danes. peace.
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| just shit |
[ Monday April 20074:01pm ] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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Negative Approach |
] |
So living in Grand Rapids is nice, pretty much. I plan on getting rid of my car, and just taking the bus to work.
I try to make it to Muskegon frequently for shows, or visiting friends and family, but other than that I'd like to stay home.
I work a lot, and maybe when I get rid of my car, I won't have to as much. I've been by myself a lot lately. When I get out of work, it seems like there's not much to do, other than maybe hang out with my boss and watch him and some pals drink. This is why i can't wait for summer, at least the weather will give me motivation to do something.
I have a lot of trouble getting close to people, I'd like more friends, but it's difficult to trust anyone, really.
Negative Approach are playing in Detroit in May, I'm pretty excited.
As soon as it started snowing again, I started feeling like shit. I really shouldn't allow the weather to affect my mood so well.
OK, I'm done.
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[ Tuesday January 20071:47am ] |
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I hate looking for a job.
but i have found one. one that doesnt pay the bills.
hows muskegon? probably lame.
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[ Friday January 20072:27pm ] |
i love trent ... PSYCH!
psychpsych.
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| cookies. |
[ Sunday December 20068:55pm ] |
I just don't get how people were going to live with themselves, knowing they completely put someone through a BUNCH of shit. If there's problems, address me, dont come up with a plan.
here's comes the beginning of forgetting certain people exist.
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[ Wednesday December 20065:29pm ] |
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mood |
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determined |
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music |
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fleas and lice |
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I wish I could just figure things out. I make everything seem really hard. I'm not sure if this is good, so that way when it's not as hard as I expect, at least I prepared? You know? I just don't understand why moving again has to be so sudden, like last time. Of course, nowhere near as sudden as last time. It's just a little weird, knowing i don't really have a permanant place to stay, yet. So I'll make my way out to GR when we have to leave here, and i guess just try to find a job, and stay at Johns for a bit. Then hopefully get enough to be able to do what I can.
I gotta get my car fixed, which Twin Cities probably fucked up in the first place. They said it'd be 350$, needless to say I'm going somewhere else, because I'm sick of being treated like a douche when ever I step foot in that place. Plus, it'll probably be cheaper. As long as I check my anti-freeze, or coolant, then everything should be fine.
I work today 5-8. Three whole hours long. It'd be cool to find a transfer.. But I doubt it'll happen.
I'm glad the snow melted.
WHAT WAS ALL THAT SLAMMING DOORS/YELLING SHIT LAST NIGHT.
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[ Thursday November 20066:47am ] |
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music |
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dog fashion disco |
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i've played this mcr game since i was in like 10th grade, and i finally beat it tonight. i'm am the ruler of the WORLD. thats a screen shot i'm that lame.
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[ Monday October 20066:10am ] |
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mood |
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Saladfingers |
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| [ |
music |
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The Smiths |
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It's late at night, or early in the morning. Whatever, either way I'm real lonely. I wanted to adventure out to Trent, but I don't have the money. I may come about some tomorrow, but my Grandpa is a tough guy to get ahold of.
I really enjoyed the show here last night. Hero Dishonest was fucking great, and what I saw of Acts of Sedition. I missed everything else.
I should probably lay down, get some rest for my weary soul. I'm probaly Hubert Cumberdale.
Sometimes talking sucks.
I quit Movie Gallery. Fuck that place. I thought I'd enjoy a movie store. I thought wrong.
Um.............. Night?
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[ Wednesday October 20069:54pm ] |
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mood |
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jerk |
] |
| [ |
music |
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fiona apple |
] |
There's not much to say except i am so busy with work and my own self-defeating thoughts to pay attention to any of the friends (the real friends) around me.
Its the season for a sore throat, so of course I must of welcomed one with open arms. It's hard not to get a cold with young jerks coughing on me like it's funny. Or of course, which I will gladly accept, from my boyfriend. If only I could take it all away from him, and I would have to deal with it, and not him.
I like mariokart. I wouldnt mind playing right now, but getting up is a task i dont think I can take on right now.
Well, at least the weather was somewhat decent today, until of course it decided to rain on me as I drove to my Grandpa's. My lights weren't on, and I didn't realize this for quiiitteee awhile. I can be such a fool sometimes.
I guess that's all. Reading sounds nice right now.







Yeah, I just felt like posting those pictures, oh well.
OCD!
crap.
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[ Sunday October 20062:38am ] |
LOVE WILL TEAR US APART
not unless we let it.
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[ Monday October 20061:28pm ] |
I managed to get kicked out of my house and almost moved out to GR. Turns out there was an extra room at casey/rob/michelles upstairs, so I'm here now. I like it a lot. I dont do much, I'm usually stuck in my room. I'm bad at hanging out lately. But either way, I now enjoy going home, and dont want to get out of here as much as i can.
It sucks, my relationship with my brother and my dad has dwindled to a point where I don't even care to talk to either of them because I'm hearing what they are saying, and it's not making me too happy. I haven't had a chance to defend myself, nor do I care to anymore. I'm glad I dont live there anymore.
Trent and I are going to look for some money and hit up house of china like my child days and buy cheap fried rice and ragoons. When he decides to get up. But alas, he likes to sleep all day it seems.
There was an intense thunderstorm last night, today is beautiful.
I need to find another job now.
The past few weeks have been fun. Jays barn show, and other shit.
And i now I have tickets to the briefs show thanks to Mattie. And the mars volta thanks to John.
Oh man I'm psyched to see the mars vars.
It's time I wake up the boy, and wander through town.
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